


You look like yourself (but you're somebody else)

by Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Adopted Peter Parker, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everybody Lives, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Protective Happy Hogan, References to Depression, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, but not everything is beautiful and a lot hurts x
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29986425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror/pseuds/Forthenightisdarkandfullofterror
Summary: Peter wasn't jealous of Morgan, that wasn't it.Morgan wasn't the problem, it was Tony. Tony who seemed to channel all of his energy into Morgan to the point there didn't seem to be anything left for Peter and he just wasn't sure how much longer he could cope.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 85
Kudos: 218





	1. Dont lose who you are

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I've been sat on this story for forever because I love these type of post-blip fics but can I do it justice? Probably not. Did I want to try my own because Peter seems too forgiving usually? yes. Is that me projecting because I cant let people in easily after they fuck up? Yes.  
> Enjoy x

_We did it, Mr Stark. We won._

_We won._

And they had. They won, in all the ways that mattered. Tony had saved the world, the _universe_. He’d reversed the blip, brought everyone back and even managed to survive, minus the mobility in his right arm.

So why did Peter feel like he’d lost?

It had been just over a month since the battle, Tony was getting back to full health, spending almost six hours a day out of bed, Peter had returned to school and was reunited with Ned and MJ, and sometimes he’d go on patrol as Spider-man.

It was almost like nothing had changed.

Almost.

Their home was destroyed, where he’d lived with Tony and Pepper before the blip, and now they were living out in this lake house that was beautiful and quiet, but it didn’t feel like home.

And then there was Morgan. To say Peter was surprised learning he had a sister was an understatement. Surprise wasn’t probably the word. Shock?

Either way, Peter took it really well and only had a panic attack that lasted about thirty minutes to the point he thought he was going to pass out from lack of air and Morgan was so scared she didn’t speak to him for two days after meeting him. 

It was just all different. Everything had changed, everyone had moved on and he couldn’t shake off the feeling like he just didn’t fit.

When he wasn’t at school, he spent most of the time in his room, or what he prefers to call is the spare room.

It wasn’t his room. The walls were bland in a beige paint, no posters, or personal touches like he’d had in the compound. His belongings were boxed and somewhat unfamiliar, the Lego sets that would cover his shelves like trophies were dismantled into containers, and the bedding wasn’t his. Which of course it wasn’t, five-year-old bedding wasn’t practical, so it made complete sense they’d replaced it.

He knew he should have unpacked but he didn’t want to. This wasn’t his room, or his house or his fami-

He shook his thoughts out. Tony and Pepper had adopted him two years – no, six years – ago. They were his parents.

So why didn’t he feel like he was their family?

Things were different now. He and Tony wouldn’t tinker in the lab, the lab was gone and all they had was a converted garage come workshop, but Tony didn’t seem interested in it since he came back from the hospital.

Friday nights that used to be dedicated to Peter were now Morgan nights, like most nights really. And Peter was okay with that. she was five, she needs that time with her family.

Tony was quieter than he used to be. Peter put it down to tiredness, to the long recovery he was being dragged through, but he couldn’t stop the nagging belief that Tony just didn’t feel like talking to him much anymore.

Tony seemed to put so much effort into putting a brave face on for Morgan, pretending he was fine, that he had nothing left for Peter.

As soon as Morgan was asleep, Tony conked out, and Pepper was never far behind.

Morgan got tucked into bed, a story read to her and goodnight kisses every night. He could hear. Her room was right above his, opposite her parents’ bedroom on the top floor.

Of course, Peter was old enough to not need bedtime stories, or even get tucked in but Tony always used to come and say goodnight to him before going to sleep.

Now, Peter doesn’t sleep much.

It was the start of another week, a slow Monday morning where Peter strongly considered hibernating in bed all day, when these things somehow started building up.

He’d walked into the kitchen, finding Pepper, Tony and Morgan eating away at pancakes for breakfast, which wasn’t uncommon, a pile left for Peter too.

“Good morning Peter.” Pepper welcomed, passing him the juice.

“Morning guys.” He greeted his parents back before turning to Morgan, sat with her mouthful. “Hey Morgan, how are you today?” He asked with a forced smile.

She glanced up at him once. “We made pancakes!”

And lord, did Peter know. Morgan had woken the whole house up at around 5am, insisting on baking and Peter strongly considered trying to sleep in the garden instead of listening to Morgan chat energetically through the walls for two hours.

He wondered if Tony had binned the noise cancelling buds he’d made for Peter’s super senses.

“Hope we weren’t too loud, kid.”

Peter shook his head. Old Tony would have known it was easily loud enough to wake Peter. He was a light sleeper at the best of times, but this was New Tony.

He went to take a pancake before his spidey-sense tingled.

Peter frowned, sniffing. “There, ah- aren’t nuts in these, are there?”

Tony blinked, confused for a second.

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey, Morgan wanted Nutella in them, I didn’t even think. There’s cereal and toast in the cupboard?”

Peter nodded, ignoring the sting in his eyes. Old Mom and Dad never kept anything nutty in the house, just in case, and now they forgot his allergy all together. “It’s okay I’m not really hungry.”

Which of course was a complete lie, but Peter couldn’t stand to sit there seeing the guilty look on his parent’s face.

Luckily, Morgan had started to talk about kindergarten, letting Peter escape without much notice.

As usual, Happy drove him to school and Tony took Morgan. And that was fine.

“Hey kid, you okay?” Happy greeted, pulling back out of the driveway.

Peter shrugged and nodded not so convincingly.

“You sure? you look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

“’m fine, Morgan was up early again.”

“That’s kids for you, full of energy.”

Peter remembered when Happy would complain about Peter’s energy.

“You get up to much at the weekend?”

“Not much.” Peter brushed off. Tony had a check up on the Saturday and was tired for the rest of the day which resulted in film afternoon of all Disney princesses and Sunday consisted of homework and a family dinner where Peter probably managed to get three words in over Morgan. Of course, she wasn’t doing it on purpose, she’s a little kid, but it still stung.

“Sure you’re okay, kid?”

“Fine, tired.”

Luckily Happy didn’t push, dropping him off at school.

* * *

“Peter! You will not believe what my dad got me from his trip to Japan!”

Peter turned from his locker to face Ned in anticipation. Its Lego, it always is.

“The Millennium Falcon! Over a thousand pieces!”

Peter’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Yo, no way, that’s so cool!”

The Millennium Falcon was so rare, it’d sold out in every store in New York not thirty minutes after being released, he was going to ask his Dad for one for his birthday but then -

“You free Wednesday night? You could come over and we could get started?”

“uh, yeah, sounds good.”

Peter joined next to Ned, walking to class on autopilot.

“How was your weekend?” Ned asked.

“Alright.” Peter replied quickly, trying to ignore the interrogating look his friend was giving him.

“you sure? You don’t seem yourself, and kinda look like shit.”

Peter frowned at Ned. “Gee, thanks, Ned.”

Ned laughed. “Nah, nah, I didn’t mean it like that, I just mean – have you been sleeping?”

Peter shrugged. “Apparently five-year-olds don’t sleep much.”

“I can imagine, I guess the rooms aren’t sound proofed like the compound either.” Ned supplied thoughtfully.

Peter shook his head, sliding into his desk.

“What about those ear thingy-s your dad made when you had an overload?”

Another shrug. “I haven’t found them.”

“Oh, that sucks, can’t he make you some more?”

“I don’t know, he doesn’t really go in the lab anymore and I wouldn’t want to bother him.”

Luckily before Ned could reply the lesson began, shunning the class into silence.

By fifth period Peter was eager to get home for once. They’d announced a mini science project, due by the end of the week which would be the feature of the science fair.

“Dude, this is so cool! What are you going to make?” Ned asked, practically bouncing with energy as they walked to the school’s parking lot.

“I was thinking a small remote model of a Quinjet, but the remote would be glasses you speak commands into? I’d have to look into the logistics and the materials but there’s so much stuff in the workshop it should be okay.”

“Wow that’s insane, we only have a week!”

“Yeah, but I’m hoping dad will help and I’m sure I can get the coding done for it in a few days.” Peter said, unable to hide the smile on his face.

“There was me thinking a robotic carrousel.”

“Nah, dude that’s a great idea!”

“call me later? I want an update how it’s going before bed.”

“Yeah sure, Ned.”

* * *

Peter was positively vibrating as he made his way into the living room. Maybe this was what he needed to get his dad back in the lab, to finally spend some quality time together, and who knows maybe this will jump start his drive for tinkering and inventing again. Just like old times. “Hey, dad, there’s this project and I was wondering if- dad?”

“Peter? Is that you?” Pepper called from upstairs, the rest of the house in silence.

Peter instantly panicked, Tony was always back from picking Morgan up from kindergarten by now, house alive with cartoons and Morgan running around, but thinking about it there was no car in the driveway and-

He ran upstairs, finding his mom in the office looking rather relaxed.

Peter came to a halt, trying to figure out what was going on. “Where’s dad? And Morgan?”

“Oh, your dad took Morgs for ice cream after school as a treat for getting student of the week.”

“Oh.” Peter blinked, not doing well at hiding the flash of hurt.

Pepper gave a small smile. “Everything alright? How was school?”

“Ugh – fine, we’ve got this science project, is it okay if I use the workshop?”

“Of course, just remember to be careful.”

Peter plodded down to the lab. It was a setback, not the end of the world. He’d simply talk to his dad when he got home, meanwhile he got planning, trying not to wonder if Tony had taken Morgan to Peter’s favourite ice cream parlour.

By dinner he’d already sourced the materials he needed and even managed a bit of the coding which was never Peter’s strongest suit.

He practically ran to the kitchen table, grinning ear to ear.

Tony looked up, smiling at his kid. “Hey kiddo, what’s got you so excited?”

“So there’s this science project at school, just a mini one due for Friday, and I was wondering if you could work with me on it, I was thinking of building like a model remote quinjet-“

“A jet?” Morgan interrupted.

“Yeah Morg, but a model one.”

“Daddy already has a jet.”

Peter tried to refrain from rolling his eyes. “I know, Morgs but this is for a school project, I’m gonna make one.”

“How are you gonna’ build a jet?”

Jesus, this girl needed to have a day off. “In dad’s workshop, it’ll only be little.”

“You aren’t allowed in daddy’s workshop.”

“Yes, he is, Morguna.” Tony chirped in, brushing his hand through Morgan’s hair where she sat next to him. Peter wasn’t jealous. Not at all. “Sure, I can help, what about tomorrow?”

Peter nodded eagerly; negativity forgotten. “I’ve already got a bit done; I might do some more after dinner.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Really? I’ll have to come take a look.”

“But you promised princesses after dinner!” Morgan whined, bottom lip coming out instantly.

“Did I? Well I’m sure you can spare me five minutes-“

“Nu-uh.” Morgan shook her head and crossed her arms.

Tony just laughed. Peter didn’t find it funny.

To his surprise Tony did come down to the workshop, even if it was a quick few minutes while Morgan dozed. Maybe this was the beginning of better, things getting to how they used to be.

“This is good kid.” Tony commented on the coding Peter had managed to do before dinner. “Maybe if you just add in-“

“DADDY!”

Peter was pretty certain that scram could be heard all the way from Queens. Peter clamped his over-sensitive ears, not that Tony noticed, head already whipping around to the source of the noise.

“Sorry kid – princess calls.”

And with that he was gone. But that was okay. It was something, and right now Peter would take anything. anything was better than nothing.

* * *

Tuesday came and for once Peter was in good spirits all day, rambling off to Happy about he and Tony starting to work together in the lab.

Happy seemed content listening to the kid babble on about all the plans he had made for the project, emphasising the parts that would involve both him and Tony working together, noticing the grin never dropping from his face once.

Peter was out of the car the second it stopped at the lake house, jumping up the decking stairs faster than he’s ever done, entering the living room.

He almost did a comedic double take.

There were princess costumes strewn everywhere along with a blanket fort that took up almost the entire room with Tony sat with Morgan in the middle, both wearing pink blankets in the form of capes.

Peter frowned, feeling a pit in his stomach already. “Hey dad, ready to help my project?”

“Oh hey, Pete, yeah sure I’ll be down once little miss allows me to removeth these drapes.”

Peter nodded, and proceeded to the workshop, getting a head start on making the base of the jet.

Five minutes passed when Peter first checked his watch. Five minutes was nothing, so he carried on. Ten minutes, fifteen. That was okay though, it would take a while to clean up the mess in the living room before Tony could join Peter.

But then an hour passed. And then an hour and a half. And then two.

He didn’t come.

“Dinners ready Peter!” Pepper called from upstairs, with the familiar scent of spaghetti Bolognese, one of Morgan’s favourites.

Peter didn’t react. He’d been slumped against the work top for the best part of half an hour now, staring blankly at the plans in front of him. the plans he’d made to do with his dad. His dad who in the space of five minutes had forgotten about him.

He rubbed at the dried tear tracks with his fists, appetite depleting as he sat. he didn’t want to see him. he didn’t want to hear the bull shit excuse he’d give. Didn’t want to see the content look on Morgan’s face as she got everything she ever wanted. Everything Peter had ever wanted. Everything Peter used to _have_.

He had nothing against Morgan, of course. He loved her from the moment he met the child, but he couldn’t shake the feeling she was his replacement. That he was second best to their real child. It made sense. Of course, Peter couldn’t expect to be seen the same as Morgan is his parents eyes but right now it was if he weren’t being seen at all.

“Peter!” Pepper shouted again, somewhat louder.

Peter just looked back down, starting to tinker with the base again since he’d decided the dinner table wasn’t somewhere, he wanted to be right now.

To his surprise though, he heard frantic footsteps a few minutes later, undoubtedly Tony.

“Pete?” Tony asked cautiously in the entrance of the workshop, taking in the teenager. “Shit, I’m sorry, kid. I fell asleep after I cleaned up Morgan’s stuff. Pep just woke me up for dinner.”

Peter lightened slightly. He hadn’t been completely forgotten. “’s fine.”

Tony gave him a sympathetic smile. “How about tomorrow?”

“Going to Neds.”

“Later tonight?”

Peter shrugged. “Maybe.” But it sounded like 'no'.

Tony walked over, putting a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Coming for dinner? You can have my portion of the garlic bread.”

Peter smiled back and nodded.

Of course, Morgan ended up getting Tony’s slice of garlic bread as usual. “Daddy’s slice tastes nicer!” She’d say every time at a pitch that hurt Peter’s ears.

Not that Peter needed the extra side, Pepper always gave him large enough portions, he just never really seemed to have an appetite these days. He was grateful he wasn’t allergic to this meal.

“Can I be excused?”

“Of course, Pete, you not hungry?” Tony asked, looking to his half-eaten plate.

Pete just shook his head and cleaned away his plate.

“Petey never finishes his food. Why do I have to finish my food?” He heard Morgan cry once Pete had left the kitchen.

He also heard the uncomfortable silence that followed.

* * *

“Hey, kid. I know you said no, but I thought I’d come take a look, see how it’s going?” Tony asked, moving to stand by Peter’s shoulder.

Peter wanted to jump at this, to take any opportunity he could with his dad, but after the evening he’d had he couldn’t bring himself to it. He accepted he’d take whatever Tony was willing to give to him and be grateful for it, but even that was becoming not enough anymore.

“It’s fine.” Peter responded plainly. 

Tony frowned, sliding into the seat next to Peter. “Hey bud, I know I messed up, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sleep, I’ll make it up to you, what can I do?”

 _Listen to me, hold me, spend time with me, go back to the ways it used to be_. “The science fairs Friday, parents are invited.”

“Consider it done.” Tony declared without missing a beat.

Peter blinked. “Really?” 

“Yeah, text me the time and I’ll be there.”

“Thanks dad.”

“And Ned’s Wednesday? I’ll pick you up after.”

Maybe things were going to get better after all. Maybe.

* * *

“So how was working with Tony? Have fun?” Happy questioned lightly on the drive to school the next morning.

“Alright.” Peter replied, opting to look out the window instead of meeting Happy’s eyes who would see right through him.

“Get a lot done?”

Peter shrugged. “A bit.” _I’d have done more if I didn’t cry like a baby for thirty minutes because Tony never turned up._ But he couldn’t say that. he could never say what he really thought. 

“I get the night off tonight, right? Going to Teds?”

Peter rolled his eyes and smiled. “You know its Ned. And yeah, dad’s picking me up.”

Happy didn’t do well hiding the surprised look.

* * *

As expected, the Millennium falcon was insane. Super hard but super cool. They spent all evening building it with Star Wars playing in the background and for a while, Peter convinced himself everything was just the way it was before Thanos. Before he’d lost five years of his life and everyone had moved on with their life.

It wasn’t until 9:30pm came and Peter found Tony was late to picking him up, that he remembered things were never going to be the same again.

“Wasn’t he supposed to come-“

“-half an hour ago? Yeah.” Peter sighed, trying to call his dad again to no avail, even Pepper wasn’t picking up.

“My mom could drive you home?”

Peter quickly declined. “No, no don’t worry, I’ll just swing back.”

“You sure? it’s kind of late and the woods are creepy.”

“Dude, I’m literally spider-man I’ll be fine.” Peter flashed a quick smile, masking the bone deep hurt he was feeling.

And luckily, he was fine. It took him just under an hour to web back to the house where he stomped in with a face like thunder. He was always able to get a hold of Tony, even when the man was asleep, Friday had Peter’s number on alert, only adding to the frustration of the situation.

But then he came into the living room, finding the family curled up on the sofa, asleep underneath a pile of blankets and the TV with the ‘Are you still watching?’ screen up.

The family. Their family. Morgan’s.

He saw Tony’s phone on the side light up, seeing the rest of the notifications Peter had sent him.

He should wake them up. Give them a piece of his mind, or at least Tony. _Is it so hard to keep promises dad? Is it so hard to remember you have two kids? Do you really dislike me that much now?_

Peter shook his head. He couldn’t deal with that kind of argument, especially if Morgan were present who would no doubt second guess everything that came out of Peter’s mouth as usual.

Maybe he’d get an apology in the morning.

* * *

Nope.

By the time he was in the kitchen to grab something for breakfast, Morgan was sat with Pepper at the table, Tony still sleeping on the couch in a seemingly uncomfortable position.

“Hey hon, you get home okay? By the time Tony saw the notifications Friday said you were in bed.”

In bed, not sleeping, though.

“Just swung back.”

“I’m sorry we fell asleep; I don’t know why he insisted on picking you up when he knows he’s asleep by 9pm every evening.”

Peter nodded. He didn’t feel like eating his cereal anymore.

* * *

Peter was tired. Really tired. Yes, maybe he shouldn’t have worked his ass off all Thursday trying to get the project finished, but Morgan also didn’t have to wake the whole house up at 5am _yet again._

It wasn’t that he disliked Morgan. She was a very lovable five-year-old, curious, clever, endearing. Yes, she interrupted Peter and didn’t seem to really warm to him, but she was just a kid. Tony’s kid.

He heard the familiar light, bouncing footsteps making their way towards the workshop before he saw her enter with the ever-curious look on her face.

He really wasn’t in the mood for this. He’d had to do the project single handedly, without any help or guidance from his father, plan in ruins.

To his surprise the jet was a success, even without Tony’s input. It was almost fully functioning, all that was left for last tweaks were some coding in the glasses.

Peter looked up. “Morgan you aren’t allowed in here.”

“ _You’re_ here.” She said in an innocently challenging tone.

“That’s because I’m a lot older.”

“I’m old!”

Peter smiled slightly. “Sure you are, but there’s dangerous things in here.”

She didn’t seem to listen, wondering around the lab. “Morgan you can’t-“

“What’s that?”

Peters eyes widened, seeing what Morgan was reaching for. “Morgan don’t play with that!”

Morgan tensed at the shout, losing grip on the plane in her hands.

“Morgan!”

The model shattered into pieces on the workshop floor, the pair both staring down painfully.

“Look what you’ve done! Its – get out!” Peter cried, kneeling next to the ruined jet.

Morgan burst into tears, running out and most likely crying to her father.

Peter didn’t care. He didn’t care what Tony or Morgan had to say. Everything was ruined and he was done acting like it wasn’t.

“Peter Parker Stark!”

Yep, there we go.

Tony stormed into the lab, not caring to take note of the surroundings. “Want to explain why your sisters in fits?”

Peter practically lept to his feet, tears brimming in his eyes. “She broke the quinjet!”

“And that gives you the right to yell at her?”

“Like you’re yelling at me?” Peter bit back, giving the same tone as his father was giving him.

“You need to apologise.”

Peter blinked. He’d have laughed if the situation weren’t so dire. “What? No! it’s her fault.”

“Shes a child! It was an accident.”

“Well, if she wasn’t so spoilt, she’d know not to mess with things that aren’t hers.”

“Watch it.” Tony cut in, hard faced.

“Oh of course, _sorry_. I’ll go an apologise to your child. How can some stupid kid upset your little princess.”

Peter stormed out, grabbing his school bag, and marched down the drive where Happy had just arrived.

“Hey Pete, you okay?”

“Just drive.” Peter bit out, letting a tear slip.

Happy frowned but put the car in gear. “Okay, I’m going. Wanna’ tell me what’s got you so worked up?”

“Morgan broke the quinjet.” Peter muttered, anger slowly dissipating into something he couldn’t place.

“Aw kid, I’m sure she didn’t mean to.”

Now, Peter laughed, if the huff of despair could be called that. “No, because Morgan can’t do anything wrong.”

“Pete, where’s this coming from?”

“She broke it! she isn’t even allowed in there, then I’m the one in trouble because what, she cried? I hurt her feelings? What about when I’m hurt? Oh, it was an accident Pete, grow up. And now Tony hates me even more and I’m gonna’ get detention.”

Tony hates me even more. Happy couldn’t even wonder what was going through the kids head, deciding to address the smaller issues first. “You can explain what happened to your teachers, they won’t give you detention.”

“I shouldn’t have to make an excuse! Why am I always at the end of everyone’s problems? I try and do everything right. Everything! And nothing is ever enough.”

Happy gave the kid a concerned look. “Kid, are we still on about the project?”

Peter shook his head, brushing away the tears. “Yes. No… I don’t know. It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter, talk to me Peter.”

Peter shrugs, crying openly now. “I just can’t do anything right. Tony doesn’t even… it’s like I’m not even there anymore... Am I really here? Can you see me?”

Tony. Not dad, Happy noticed. “Of course, you’re here. Tony does see you, he’s just… under a lot of stress right now.”

Peter just lost it more. “I know! God, I know, I know it’s awful for him, it must be so much hard work trying to ignore some dumb kid he was forced into adopting, it must be so hard pretending he only has one kid and forgetting to ask me how my day was or hug me or make food I’m not allergic to. It’s so hard for everyone to put up with me.”

“Pete, calm down. I think you need to talk to your parents; they’ll understand what’s going on.”

“No, they won’t! No one understands! No one can ever understand, I-I just – I wish I never came back.”

And yes, jumping out of a moving – albeit slowly moving – vehicle probably wasn’t one of his finest decisions, but he needed out.

He heard Happy shouting back to him as he ran.


	2. You deserve better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Activate angry Happy mode.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay first I apologise for adding another chapter after coaxing u guys in with the promise of two but splitting it into the build up, the fallout, and the fixing it made sense to me, esp as the whole working it through after the initial apologies is gonna be like a big thing for this fic 
> 
> Second thank u all for everyone who left kudos/comments u guys make my whole world and I'm blown away by your positivity <3  
> plz enjoy this second part x

Happy Hogan was not a children person, or at least he never used to be until a kid from Queens wormed his way into his heart the best part of eight years ago. The kid was so kind, so _pure_ , it was hard to keep his infectious happiness from spreading to him too.

Happy also liked Tony; he really did. He loved him like a best friend, a brother even, but right now, he hoped he was scared.

He gave up driving like a madman through the woods trying to find Peter after he threw himself out of the car. Part of him knew something was going to happen, Happy couldn’t seem to say a word right to the kid all morning. And really, he shouldn’t have been making excuses for Tony. Peter was a sweet kid, the sweetest, and for months he stood by and watched him deteriorate and he hated himself for not seeing it before.

He always thought it was an exaggeration when people claimed ‘they were so angry the saw red’ but right now, he realised it was possible.

Happy was seething. He slammed the car door, striding up to seemingly tranquil lake house.

“Happy?” Tony looked over confused, pausing packing Morgan’s school bag in the kitchen, said girl sat colouring on the kitchen table.

“We need to talk.” Happy bit out. He should have approached with a more neutral tone in front of the child, but this wasn’t about Morgan, a concept Tony clearly didn’t understand.

“Sorry? I was just –“

“Yeah, taking care of your second child. But what about your first?”

Tony sensed the hostility and gestured to the porch, away from little ears.

“What’s wrong? Where’s Pete?” Tony asked once the door was closed.

“What the hell are you playing at Tony?” Happy demanded, rounding on Tony immediately.

“I- what?”

“Tell me why, _for almost two months now_ , I’ve watch Peter crumble _slowly_. How he’s lost weight, how he barely sleeps, he hardly talks to me anymore. He hardly talks to anyone.”

Tony took a step back.

Happy took one forward.

“He seems okay with me.”

This man, Jesus fu- “Is that why he jumped out a moving car?! because he’s okay? Stable people don’t jump out of cars, Tony!”

“He did what?”

“When was the last time you spoke to him? I mean _really_ spoke to him. Sat down one on one and talked.”

A blank look. 

“No? Okay, let’s talk about the fact you forgot to pick him up from Neds, how he called you relentlessly and couldn’t reach you. You have Friday on alert for every time Morgan wakes up, ready for anything, but Peter can’t even get a hold of you when he needed you. No? Well, let’s talk about how you never take him to school – or frankly anywhere – anymore, how you haven’t given the kid a second thought since you brought him back. That was you, wasn’t it? You’re sill the man that invented time travel to bring his kid back? Because you’re really making me wonder.”

Happy finally took a step away, realising his face was so up in Tony’s he could probably feel the heat of his breath.

“I’m not blameless.” Happy admitted quietly. “I should have seen it, but he broke down so gradually it escaped me in the forty minutes a day I spent with him. You’re his fucking _dad_ Tony. You’re all he has and look at you. not an ounce of humility.”

“I- He… he jumped out of a car?”

Happy shook his head, deciding a lost cause when he saw one.

“Where are you going?” Tony called after him down the porch.

“To look for your son.” Happy snapped back, not turning around.

“Shit, I’m coming, hold on.”

That made Happy turn, standing sharply by the driver’s door. “You are? I thought you were taking Morgan to school.”

“Pepper can do it, Pete needs me.”

“He’s needed you for the past two months.” Happy all but growled, sliding into the car, and slamming the door with more force than necessary.

Tony got into the passenger seat, running a hand down his face. “God I’ve fucked up.”

“Yeah, Tony. You really have.”

“We’ll talk about this when Peter’s safe.”

Happy snorts seeing Tony loading up Peter’s Stark Watch stats.

Tony shot him an irritated look. “What?”

“You’re wasting your time. Peter hasn’t had that watch since he’d been back.”

“What?”

“Jesus Tony. You better hope we find him before the police do or there’ll be a child neglect case against you.”

“Fuck… _Fuck_.” Tony slammed his hand on the dashboard. “I just thought he was a teenager; they always want space.”

“When has Peter ever wanted space? He’s the clingiest kid I’ve ever met. You of all people should know that.”

Tony shook his head, finally allowing tears to fall for his missing child. “God where did it all go so wrong.”

Happy considered the man next to him as he drove. the man he’d stood by for decades, watched him go from an asshole playboy billionaire to superhero. The man he’d supported through thick and thin. Could he really give up on him now?

“Talk to me Tony. Because I know you love that kid, I can’t believe the Tony that invented time travel to bring his kid home would do this to him.”

Tony took in such a harsh breath Happy wasn’t sure if it was the start of a panic attack. They weren’t uncommon.

“I-I don’t know what happened... It was like I had everything I ever wanted, I had my family back, I had Peter back, but it was like… I don’t know. I don’t know what happened, but I swear id never do anything to hurt the kid. You have to believe me. I just thought it’d be business as usual, just with Peter too.”

Happy sighed, anger turning to frustration. “That isn’t how it works Tony. Jesus, for a genius you can be a fucking idiot. Just carry on the way it was? The kid was gone for a second, and the world had moved on five years. You threw him into a new life, a new family and what, you expected that to be fine? Did you ever talk to him about what he wanted?”

Tony was crying silently now and Happy couldn’t help but feel like he deserved it. he deserved to feel the hurt he’d been inadvertently dragging Peter through.

“Please, Happy. I’m sorry, I didn’t think – I-I don’t know what I was doing, but you need to believe I would never hurt him.”

“I want to, but you _have_ hurt the kid. And now he’s gone, and we have no idea where he is.”

“Would he go to school?” Tony offered, reclaiming some composure.

“After Morgan breaking his project? No.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah, heard you handled that really well too.” Happy muttered.

“He’s never going to forgive me.”

“Quite frankly, he shouldn’t. but even now he will.”

“Where would he go?”

“It’s Peter. he won’t want to burden Ned or MJ, so he won’t be with them, he won’t be at school. There’s nowhere else I can think of.”

“His phone?”

“Is in the bag by your feet.”

“Christ, Pete.”

“We’ll find him.” Happy promised quietly, the weight of a missing child now really setting in.

Tony nodded, shedding another tear for his son. 

Pepper had called Tony around an hour after he took off without a word with Happy. Like Tony, Pepper broke down when he explained the situation to his wife, in kinder words than Happy had given him, but he had every right to be angry at Tony.

He was angry at himself. Not just angry, shocked. Disappointed. Happy was right. He was all the kid had and Tony had practically ignored him for over a month. His precious Peter that deserved the whole word. His Peter that was alone and hurt. but what Tony feared most that the pain he’d caused was something beyond repair.

He brought the kid back to lose him again, but this was so much worse. This was Tony’s fault. Not Thanos, not some alien, Tony was the reason he was losing Peter.

 _He asked if I could see him. He thought he was invisible._ Happy had told him, somehow making Tony feel even worse. He’d never felt guilt like it.

* * *

By 3pm, Happy started calling the hospitals, Friday was scanning every CCTV camera in a fifty-mile radius for any signs of Peter and Tony and Pepper were driving the streets.

By 4pm Pepper had to go for Morgan at school and pretend to the girl everything was normal and her brother wasn’t MIA.

By 5pm Tony was in pieces.

He hadn’t stopped looking since Happy tore him a new one on the porch and he shouldn’t. He couldn’t stop, not until Peter was found, and maybe not even then. He wouldn’t stop until he made this right.

Tony had checked the graveyard he knew Ben and May to be buried at, almost relieved to find he wasn’t there. Finding the kid like that would have broke his heart further if that were even possible at this point.

But then there was still the very large problem of where he’d be otherwise.

“Boss, I might have something.” Friday finally chimed in.

“Go ahead Friday.”

“A camera off 53rd street picked up a figure resembling Peter at 1pm. He was heading to the roof, boss.”

Tony’s breath caught in his throat.

No. no, Peter wouldn’t do that. he wasn’t – was he?

“Location, Friday. Now!”

* * *

It didn’t take him long to reach the building. Admittedly it would have been faster in a suit, but Tony currently didn’t have one that worked. After the battle he hadn’t stepped foot in the lab, let alone fix his suit.

He wondered if Peter noticed that too. Of course, he must have. Before the snap he and Peter would spend hours on end in the labs together and now – now he used that time on entertaining Morgan and sleeping.

He really didn’t deserve his son’s forgiveness if he ever got the chance to offer him it.

He was out of breath and panting by the time he got to the roof, condemning himself to the worst possible thoughts.

He recognised the roof almost instantly. Maybe from the Deja-vu of Peter sat, slumped over in a defeated form on the ledge of the building or maybe its from the regret of his actions the last time they were here, but either way it was engrained in his memory.

The argument after the ferry incident. That was here.

The relief he felt when he saw Peter there, very much alive, almost brought Tony to his knees.

“Pete, thank god I was so worried.”

He wasn’t sure if he just spoke so quietly, Peter didn’t hear. The teen didn’t respond to Tony’s presence at all.

Tony walked over cautiously to the kid, whose legs dangled over the edge as he stared out to the waters beyond. “Pete? Hey, why don’t you come down from there.”

Still nothing.

He came to the edge, so he was stood next to where Peter sat on the elevated ridge, scared to reach out. “Pete?”

“Last time we were here, I said I wanted to be like you.” Peter spoke slowly, barely above a whisper. He still stared forward, not fully acknowledging his father. “You…you said you wanted me to be better.”

Tony swallowed thickly.

Peter huffed a laugh, but Tony didn’t think anything Peter was currently feeling was remotely funny.

“But I-I _needed_ _you_ to be better. When I came back… I needed you to be better and you _weren’t_ , you weren’t there for me.” Peter turned, angry red rimmed eyes meeting Tony’s. “ _You were never there!”_

“Pete-“

The kid jumped around onto the roof, stomping a few steps before rounding to Tony in an anger Tony had never seen on the kid.

“I needed you! And you weren’t there!” Peter cried, unable to catch a breath. “No, actually, you _were_. That’s the worst part. You were _right_ there the whole time, right in front of me, but I couldn’t reach you. you couldn’t even _see_ me! I- What did I do wrong? What did I do for you to hate me so much?”

Tony was wrong.

It wasn’t anger he was seeing. It was hurt. Stomach wrenching, heart breaking hurt.

“Peter, please, baby. I don’t hate you, god I could never. I love you so much.”

Peter shook his head sharply, pointing an accusing finger at Tony. “ _No_. You don’t. you don’t do this to someone you love.”

He deserved this. He deserved the cold knives Peter was pushing into his chest. “I’m sorry, Pete, I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Please believe me.”

“How can I? I- _fuck_.” Peter turned around, pulling his hair in his hands. “I can’t look at you! I can’t even look at you because I…I still _love_ you. You’re killing me and I still love you and it’s not fair!”

Tony had never felt so undeserving in his life. He didn’t deserve his son’s love. “I’m sorry baby, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t call me that. I’m not your baby.” Peter spat over his shoulder, no longer facing him.

Tony stepped forward, instincts begging to bundle the teen in his arms. “Yes, you are Peter. You always have been, and I’m so eternally sorry for making you think you aren’t. I love you with everything I am, kid. God I’m so sorry I just-“

Peter spun back to him, storming up so his face was inches from Tony. “Just what? Remembered I existed? Remembered that you never say goodnight to me anymore, or drive me to school, or spend time with me or-or _hold me_.” Peter’s last words were so broken they were barely above a whisper, rivulets of tears running freely down his red cheeks.

Peter took a wavered step back, choking on a sob. “Ever since I came back everything’s different. You’re different. Pepper’s different. You have Morgan and a family and I have-“

Tony shook his head, his own tears no longer been held back. “You have me Pete. I swear, you’ll always have me.”

“I don’t. You- you’re _somebody else_.”

Tony gaped. “Pete-“

“I can’t do this anymore – I can’t.”

“Please, baby. Come home, we’ll talk it through. Fix it together.” Tony pleaded, desperately wanting to hold his kid.

Peter shook his head, sobbing loudly now. “I _can’t_. I-I can’t be fixed. I c-can’t go back there. I can’t spend another night w-watching you all like I’m just… I don’t belong there, I don’t f-fit. It isn’t my room, it isn’t my house it isn’t – its not my _-“_

_It’s not my family._

Tony stepped towards Peter; one arm outstretched. “Baby please, please come home. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t see how much you were hurting, or how much I was messing everything up. I never meant to hurt you, please believe me. I’ll get better, I swear. I know there’s nothing I could say to make up for it and I know I don’t deserve it but please peter, please give me another chance. I love you. so much, just because Pepper and Morgan are here now doesn’t mean I love you any less. Or that I care about you any less, even if I’ve been shit at showing it. You’re family, you’re part of our family and I’m sorry that you ever felt anything different.”

Peter sniffed, staring at the floor by Tony’s feet.

“Can I hug you?”

Peter looked conflicted, the seemingly simple question making the kid spiral with unknown feelings. Tony waited as the kid thought. He’d understand if he said no, its nothing less than Tony deserved.

After what felt like hours Peter gave a shaky nod. Tony quickly accepted the permission, moving forward and wrapping his arms tightly around Peter. “God I’m so sorry Pete. I’ve been such an asshole. I love you kid, more than anything in the world.”

Peter didn’t respond, just nuzzled his tear-stained face further into the nape of Tony’s neck and cried.

Tony held him tighter, pressing his lips on the top of the kids damp hair whilst Peter wept so intensely his body shook. “I know I can’t fix this overnight, even if I wish I could. We’re going to get through this, okay? Just let me show you I deserve your trust, your love.”

“I do love you.” Peter whispered back, still clinging to Tony. “I just, I don’t know if I can go back.”

As much as Tony didn’t want to, he pulled the kid back to arm’s length, letting his thumb brush away Peter’s tears. “Why kiddo? Talk to me.”

Peter shook his head, looking away. “Its… it’s not my home. It’s not my room. Nothing’s the same.”

“You’re wrong baby, that home was always yours. We bought it knowing that house, your room, would be yours. That we’d get you back and we could be a family again. But if you don’t like it, we’ll move, okay? I don’t care where we live, as long as I’ve got you there, as long as I have my family.”

“Really?”

“Really, kid. Fuck the house. Your room? We’ll tear it down and make a new one.”

“I don’t think that would help the infrastructure.”

Tony let out a small laugh. “The point is kid, it doesn’t matter. None of it. All that stuff, it’s replaceable. You’re not. You’re what matters and I’m so sorry I haven’t shown you that.”

Peter smiled slightly.

“Will you come home? Get you warm, maybe some food and we can really talk. If you want to, if you don’t that’s fine too, whatever you wanna’ do kid.

Peter looked up to him, dead in the eye. “Promise me you’ll be better. I need you to be better.”

“Oh baby, I will, I promise. I promise I’ll be better. I’m never going to stop trying to make it up to you.”

Peter nodded, letting his dad pull him into another hug.

Tony was going to make this better if it was the last thing he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo I spent so much time making sure I was happy with it and there we are! I'm quite proud of how this turned out and as always would love to know what you think of it <3  
> I honestly live for protective Happy, u go girl.  
> next chapter will be mostly fluffy I swear x


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